Meetings With Inferiors

Tonight was one of those nights.

I mean, you convince a number of people that your way is the way so that they give to you with fervor. However in return what they ask seems so minimal at first. Now, I feel like things may have gotten out of hand. I mean slightly. Perhaps I'm just tired of dealing with fanatic adoration.

*sigh*
Mater Suspiriorum, Our Lady of Sighs, give me strength to endure.

*sigh*


So, here's the story. Who here is familiar with the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn? It is the most commonly known of the formerly secret occult orders. Well, I made the mistake of building a cult using their model with a high priest of unquestionable authority, ranks and initiation grades, and private consultation with the occasional blood letting. The focus of the rituals and worship were elder gods in the black of space between the stars and planets; imprisoned in almost infinite space.

Sounds great right? A replenishing source of food, children to lead around by the hand, and so on. What could be the problem? Well... since you asked... the time dedication. At least once a month we meet to perform the 'sacred' rituals... and then after they talk they want to know more they want help with all of their mundane problems. I didn't realize I was recruiting the most inquisitive of the dysfunctional.

It is so much work. Sometimes I question its value. With my evolution, I do not feel the hunger as often. I still desire to drink, but that is gluttony for the feast, lust for the feeling, or greed for always being full. Perhaps more of the seven even. I now understand the amount of effort Harold was willing to put in in order to develop his racks.

Still: May mishto les o thud kator i gurumni kai tordjil.

Maybe that is the lesson to take from this. In the end, it is easier and safer than the alternative.

*sigh*

I've brought this upon myself

O zalzaro khal peski piri.

I have spent the past few weeks distraught over the issues between friends. The resounding silence shook me. Not a one of them tried to fix the problem. Not a one of them. Leaders. Oversight. No one cares.

Liars. Every last one. They were all fools. Clay played a game of misinformation and Czalk along with him. Those two taught me a lesson. After talking with Clay we are even. Either he or Czalk have lied to me. I will learn which one. However, I have brought this upon myself.

Kon khakhavel o balo wi leste si I shuri.

-L